I sense a trend

I'm spineless. And I do this to myself every time. I take criticism and, though I try to let it roll off my back, I grasp it, file it, catalog it, write a summary and take that off-handed comment and try to fit myself within the mold that others have created for me.

Even with this paper. Through five drafts and three different topics I know I was just trying to write something that would impress the other people with whom I work. I would take their input and their opinion of how I felt on a subject and write it as fact. This is what they want. This is how I can become their equal.

Defending myself against a loved one, telling him that I am not worried about pleasing him at this point in my life helped me to realize that now -- more than ever -- when I write this... I am writing it for me.